..., and so the journey begins.

Bonjour mes amis!  So.. after months of promising a blog- here ya go!  Hm... where to start, where to start...  Well, in the past eight or so months, I've managed to forget how to pray, throw my feelings about underage drinking out the window, smoke a cigarette (or pack), walk out on relationships with people I once loved... you get the drift.  

Coming into college, I had my mind made up of what I wanted my life in Columbia to look like.  I thought I wanted this picturesque life full of unmet friends who would be "just like me".. I can't even explain this image anymore... because I don't even know what that would look like.  I shortly realized that I was trying to control the people, the fun, the "everything" coming into my life.  Growing up in a small town around people who primarily believed the same things I did, it was easy to fit in/ be happy with where I was.  Moving to a liberal, eclectic city full of every type of person imaginable, I started to see the beauty in being different.  A person doesn't have to be a bible-hugging Christian with good "moral standings" to have a great heart.  I see that now.  I've done a lot of growing, and made some really stupid decisions in the past couple of semesters... but I wouldn't change a thing.  

Right now, I'm not searching for anything out of life.. I'm just going to let meaning find me.  I've learned to not put boundaries on love, and to just follow life where it leads me.  I will find balance eventually.. when I'm ready.  I am happy.  I am alive.. in every sense of the word.