free...?

"I'm a poor.  I'm a rich.  I'm a mountain.  I'm a ditch.  I'm a dagger and a shield.  I'm impatient, I'm a yield... and I want to be free, wind in my hair, salt on my skin, sun in the air.  I have to feel love, holding on me, I'll give you everything that you would ever need.  I'm the fight, and the dance.  I am heartbreak, and romance, the feather and the stone.  I feel crowded, and alone, and I want to be free..."

Those are some lyrics to Gavin DeGraw's beautiful new song, Free.  I had the pleasure of seeing Mr. DeGraw, himself in concert this past Monday.. and he. was. incredible.  Instrumentally, probably one of the best concerts I've been too.  Anyway, his new CD is full of lyrically powerful songs that you can just let sit in your head for days before grasping all the potential meanings the words possess.  Listening to Free has made me really think about what words would be compiled to make up who I am.  Or does being free mean breaking away from the descriptive words, and just being?... I can't help but think that mere words made up of measly letters are just traps.. and being trapped is precisely the opposite of being free.  But then on the other hand, maybe the word "free" is like the word love.  Such a simple, four letter word that will get you no where in scrabble.. but once meaning finds it, the word itself seems so incredibly mind-boggling, it's hard to find scrabble-winning words to do it justice.  

... "Free"... I'm sitting here writing this, and can't even pinpoint a definition for free.  Because to be free, I feel like there would need to be joy, and passion, and love.  And to describe joy, love, and passion... that would take me a lifetime to figure out.  But maybe that's the point.  It's not about the destination I reach at the end of "this"... it's the journey.-- corny, but so true.  Maybe to find meaning in the words I use to describe myself, and my journey.. I have to search a lifetime.  I don't know what my destination is.. or when I'll reach it... but I'm pretty sure to picture that would be a waste of my time.  My search for meaning in life grows exponentially every day.  But in the past few months, questioning has changed me, and made me question more... which has helped me understand more about the world and the people in it.. which, in turn, has opened my heart to those people different than myself... which has made me love those people and their differences... which makes me passionate now, to learn more, to love more, to grow more... which bring me so much joy.  Maybe that's my definition.