Static State of Mind

I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely despise the "real world"... mostly because it runs on money, and that's something I rarely have.  I like to tell myself that money doesn't matter.  And money should never be a reason to not do something.  But it turns out, I've been blessed with a pretty comfortable life, and never really had to learn the hard way just how big of a role money plays in life.  But then again, money doesn't bring happiness.  Happiness, instead, is a state of mind... and money can't tamper with that.  So what can?  What can change, or bring peace to my state of mind?  Why is happiness still the most powerful word in the constantly unanswered questions when I write?

"Everyone goes through low points Ry."--that's what my friend told me last night while I was sitting in my own puddle of tears on the floor of my apartment.  I can agree with that.  I just got finished convincing myself, not too long ago, that life isn't a constant peach-fest.  But forget low points.  What about a low state of mind.  What about that?

Let me ask you this:  If you had the opportunity to instill peace and harmony within your mind, but you had to leave comfort, and the safety of knowing what lies ahead, would you take it?  Would you trade in contentment for constant searching?  

I am starting to feel/realize that I live a pretty shallow life, here... because someday, I dream of leaving this place behind.  So I think that by leaving the place, I can leave the emptiness as well.  The question is, Do I have to find a new place to discover the real me?, or Do I find the real me in a place where I am constantly disconnected from depth?...