four cities, three days, two missed flights, and one hundred dollars.

Hey y'all.  Well, I have successfully returned to purgatory (Missouri) after a weekend down South.  I spent three days in the hospitable state and managed to hit up Houston, Austin, San Antonio, and Galveston.  For those of you who think Texas is just a big chunk of dry land full of slow talking rednecks... you're mistaken.  Texas was wonderful... and this past trip was full of so many memories...

After taking a seventeen-hour nap, one of my closest friends and I set out to rake havoc... we set off to San Antonio to meet friends Saturday, and from there left with a car-full to Austin.  It was "Rodeo Roundup" that weekend which is basically Mardi Gras in Texas.  I think I'll leave a cliffhanger on this one... :)

After crashing at a friends apartment, we headed out bright and early back to Houston for a two-hour power nap before hitting the beach.  People were filling my head all weekend with false images of staff-infected waters and seaweed covered beaches... which was NOT the case.  The beach was just as beautiful as I remember.  I can't even explain the feeling I get when I look out into the water... the water that never ends.  It's simply incredible.  We spent the day barefoot, checking out all the multicolored beach houses with rusty picket fences.  I think I'll put that place on my list of future homes... 

Later that might, we headed to Market Street to peruse the secluded strip with my camera in hand.  So much for that.  All it took was one stubbed toe... and the camera bounced into murky, alligator-infested water.  Damn.  Damn.  Damn.  Talk about a disappointment.  We raided the nearby restaurants and movie theater for contraptions to dig it out and attempt to save the memory card... but had no luck.  As frustrated as I was... I started thinking later that pictures can only say so much.  The memories of that weekend will last until I'm old and grey... and the love I felt with my friends, the ocean, and the sand in my toes is something a picture can never capture. 

So... to answer the question in my previous post... Was this spontaneous, irresponsible, unreasonable trip worth it?  Hell. yes.  There is something said for being adventurous.  You only live once... and I could get used to living like this.

Now it's back to textbooks and Starbucks. 

Farewell Texas... I'll be back.

carefree/less.

So, I'm sitting here thinking about the word carefree- and what that really means.  I'm headed to Texas in roughly six hours with nothing but air in my pockets.  I want to listen to the ocean, and sit in the sand.  I want to drink completely Southern sweet tea and touch a cactus.  I've been told that this trip in irresponsible, unreasonable, and stupid.  Yes, I have no money.  But does that really matter?  Is money even a factor when friends, a sunset on the beach, and great memories await?  I say no.  I may be the cliché nineteen year old just "having fun"... but ya know... I hope I'm still doing this when I'm fifty.  

Okay, back to this carefree thought... A friend once told me there's a difference between being carefree, and careless.  I'm still figuring out which one I am.  To me, one shouldn't have to work at being carefree-- it just happens.  I feel free, and happy, and alive... does that qualify?  I know that I live my life in a world of unanswered questions a lot.  I'm not a planner.  For years, I never knew how to "fly by the seat of my pants", and once I finally learned how- I never went back.  This is me.  And I love me.  That should be enough.  That's my answer. 

..., and so the journey begins.

Bonjour mes amis!  So.. after months of promising a blog- here ya go!  Hm... where to start, where to start...  Well, in the past eight or so months, I've managed to forget how to pray, throw my feelings about underage drinking out the window, smoke a cigarette (or pack), walk out on relationships with people I once loved... you get the drift.  

Coming into college, I had my mind made up of what I wanted my life in Columbia to look like.  I thought I wanted this picturesque life full of unmet friends who would be "just like me".. I can't even explain this image anymore... because I don't even know what that would look like.  I shortly realized that I was trying to control the people, the fun, the "everything" coming into my life.  Growing up in a small town around people who primarily believed the same things I did, it was easy to fit in/ be happy with where I was.  Moving to a liberal, eclectic city full of every type of person imaginable, I started to see the beauty in being different.  A person doesn't have to be a bible-hugging Christian with good "moral standings" to have a great heart.  I see that now.  I've done a lot of growing, and made some really stupid decisions in the past couple of semesters... but I wouldn't change a thing.  

Right now, I'm not searching for anything out of life.. I'm just going to let meaning find me.  I've learned to not put boundaries on love, and to just follow life where it leads me.  I will find balance eventually.. when I'm ready.  I am happy.  I am alive.. in every sense of the word.